"STRAWBERRIES & JELLYBEANS" by Shawn O'Shea

Ellie found herself walking down the dirt path bordered by various types of vegetation and shrubbery. She could not help but notice the freshness of the air, the clear open sky not marred by the sight of poles, wires and towers.

The place seemed familiar to her. Famliar in a way that it reminded her of several places all at the same time, though she knew she had never been there nor to any place like it.

Before she finished a full twenty paces, Ellie noticed something she had long since forgotten. "Strawberries?" She knelt before the bush and picked one of the tiny red fruits and put it to her mouth and ate it. "I haven't eaten a fresh strawberry since I was a little girl." And remembering how good they were, she ate several more before she made an incredible realization:

As she looked at her bent knees and ran a hand over her straight back she was startled by a deep, calm voice. "That's right, Eleanor, you are kneeling. You are kneeling doing something you love but have suppressed for many years."

With ease she could barely recall ever having, Ellie stood and looked at the man before her. He looked like a farmer with his tan dusty boots and denim overalls which covered a blue and white plaid flannel shirt. His face looked windblown and strong; his cheekbones high, his eyes a soothing grey and his cleft chin with just a thin trace of freshly grown stubble. The only thing in his hand was an empty wicker basket.

Ellie knew a woman of her age should be afraid of a stranger who appears from no where, but for an unexplainable reason, she felt content and relieved that particular stranger was there. Then a brief flash in her mind pushed two words from her lips, "Uncle Calvin?"

The man smiled, "If you wish."

"Does this place belong to you?"

He continued smiling. "No, it does not."

She turned as she talked and looked over the fills ranging in shades of green speckled with colors of yellow and red and violet. "Where is this place? The closest I've ever seen is when my son lived in South Carolina. Is that where we are? South Carolina?"

"If you wish."

Ellie took a step close to the man. "I don't understand. What do you mean, 'if I wish.'?"

He brushed Ellie's cheek with his free hand. "Eleanor, this can be anyplace you like. I can be anyone you wish me to be."

"So this is a dream. Everything can and probably will all change without even a moment's notice."

Ellie was not used to tying to figure things out on her own; She was born in an era when what your parents told you was gospel. When a young fill grew up and married, her husband was the only authority on every subject. Finally she reached an age where her children and grandchildren explained things to her the way the thought things should be explained to her.

"You are asleep yet you are not dreaming."

She thought at this point she should feel a sense of frustration, however, the only feeling she had was a desire to ask more questions. "Please, Uncle Calvin, I am not an exceptionally smart woman. I never went to more than the tenth grace since I had to start working to help my family, and that was almost a lifetime ago."

He handed her the basket. "Do not be sorry for your life's choices, Eleanor. You are and were a good woman, child, wife and mother." He slowly turned and started strolling farther down the path. "Deep down you know all you need to know, Eleanor. About me, about this place, about why you are here."

Instinctively Ellie followed the man, filling the basket with fresh strawberries as she walked. Neither said a word for a long time, yet she noticed if she stopped to pick a group of fruit, the man stopped and waited for her to continue following as he stood there looking at her, smiling a knowing smile.

The awestruck woman stopped picking the berries when the basket was three quarters full. She then began to concentrate on keeping up with the one she called Uncle Calvin.

"If this place doesn't belong to you, who does it belong to? Are they here? Will they be angry we are on their land? Should I offer to pay for the strawberries?"

"This place belongs to many people. No one of whom will be angry you are here. On the contrary, they will be very pleased when you arrive."

More riddles Ellie thought. "When I do arrive? I'm already here. I just don't know how I got here or where it is I am. Why can't you tell me any of that directly?"

He kept slowly walking forward. "At the present time you are a visitor here."

"Who am I visiting? Who invited me?" As Ellie asked the questions, she still followed her friend. "Please answer me!" She realized it was the first time she had raised her voice since she arrived. She also noticed she was becoming overwhelmed by more familiar emotions. "You didn't when I met you, but you are scaring me now. Who are you? Where are you taking me!?"

Continuing to walk, the man responded, " I am taking you no where. You are following me."

Frustration now joined Ellies fear, "Fine! Then where am I following you?"

"You enjoy jellybeans, do you not, Eleanor?" He stopped.

A sudden calm again overcame her. Not even concerned with the mystery of how this man would know such a little detail about her she replied, "Very much. My husband used to bring them to me when we first got married. But the last time he did that was the day before he went off to the war. I suppose I could have----"

"Then you should have some now." With his still warming smile, he turned to face her.

She looked around and saw an amazing sight; large flowery bushes all with broad yellow waxy leaves with thick intertwining stems and on each grew a special fruit of its own. However, when she looked closer she saw it was not fruit which grew. "My god! Jellybeans! They're actually growing on the vines!"

Before she thought of asking how such a thing could be possible she began frantically picking the candy off the plants as if they would suddenly disappear if she did not work fast.

As the man stood there and watched her he recited, "I promise, my sweetheart, with eyes that sparkle and hair that gleams, we'll never ever part, when we sit in fields of strawberries and jellybeans."

Ellie quickly turned her head and smiled and laughed. "That's right. Our fields of strawberries and jellybeans. Walton mailed me that poem when he first left for the war." She wiped a laughing tear from her cheek. "God, that poem was awful. But at the same time, I thought it was the loveliest poem I had ever read. You know, I still have that poem tucked away in a shoebox somewhere."

"I know." He began his walk again.

She ran to his side as he gradually picked up his pace. "Wait. Please tell me. How did you know that poem? I've shown that poem to no one----ever. Did you know my husband? Did he tell you that before he died?" Her heart sank. Her tears of joy quickly turned to tears of betrayal. "It was supposed to be ours. In the letter that came with the poem, he asked me not to tell another living soul. He even promised to keep it a secret for the rest of our lives." She was now following behind him again. "Why would he have done that to me?"

"You will know all the answers soon."

"You keep telling me all these things I will know soon. But I want to know when. Tell me that so I can at least know how long I have to wait."

"How long you wait is up to you."

She felt confused again. "I don't understand."

Ellie almost bumped into the back of the man as he suddenly stopped and turned. He was still smiling as he put both his hands to her shoulders. "Eleanor, you are meant to be here, however, not at this exact moment. You are not meant to stay here until you go back----"

"Go back!? Go back where? I don't even know where I am!"

"----until you go back and accept certain parts of your life."

The last statement shook her body with fear. "No! You are wrong! I don't even know what you mean!"

He took a jellybean out of the basket and put it in her mouth. "Yes, you do. As I speak, you are starting to understand what I say and what you must do."

"I don't want to be here! Tell me how to get back!"

"You must come here and come here to stay. But first you must go back and you do not need me to tell you how to do that."

Ellie stepped back and dropped the basket. "Get away from me! I know what you want me to do and I won't do it!" She turned and ran from the man at a speed she could not even remember running as a child. "Stay away from me! Stay away!"

As she put more distance between her and the man she thought was her uncle, her legs began to ache and her chest grew heavy. Her feet went numb and she fell to the ground and sobbed, shielding her head with her arms from an unknown danger, "I won't do it! I can't!"

She continued to cry until she went back.

* * * * * * * * * *

Ellie stood in the path again. "Uncle Calvin! Please come to me. I'm sorry! I know what this place is now! I know what I have to do now! I'm just----afraid."

As she slowly turned calling out to the man she had seen before, he appeared behind her. "There is no need to be afraid. Have you accepted?"

"No. I can't. If I accept, I won't be able to go back. I can't do that to them."

"Do you understand what you are doing to them now?"

"It won't last long. Everything will be fine."

"Everything will be fine. If you come here."

"I can't do it. Not yet."

"When do you think you should?"

"When they are all okay. When I am no longer needed."

"Look carefully at them. Do you think you are still needed there?"

"Family is important. They need me to be there."

"Both your son and daughter are leading successful and productive lives."

"What about their children?"

"What about them?"

"I have to be there for them."

"Your grandchildren are starting out on their own lives."

"They are doing good. Their parents raised them right, instilled good values, but I still need to
be there for them." A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"Why? Tell me about your grandchildren."

"I have two beautiful granddaughters. They both have wonderful careers. The one has met a wonderful and handsome young man who seems to make her very happy. She's talked about marriage. She even wants to wear my wedding dress."

"And your three grandsons?"

"Oh, the boys. Each of them is the most handsome men I've ever seen. The middle of the three is on his way to financial success. He just bought a car that the payments alone are half the total of Walton's first car."

"He sounds as if he is doing well. What of the two brothers?"

"The youngest, my baby, he has just started coming into his own. I think he's going to be quite a ladies' man. He just started a job which is teaching him about responsibility. A lesson his mother tells me he is learning slowly, but well."

"There is one more, is there not?"

"I'm proud of him and love him as much as all the others."

"But?"

"Well----he loves to talk. Talk about his dreams, his ideas, his plans. He's a wonderful writer. I
tell him so all the time. When ever he comes to see me he always says, 'Grandmom, I have a great new book idea, and after it's published I want you to be the first one to read it.'"

"How was his book?"

"He hasn't written it yet. Like i said, he likes to talk. Everytime he tells me that, I try to push
him along by saying, "You know, getting things published takes a long time. I don't think I'll be around to read it.' I try to sound down when I way it, but he always replies the same, 'Oh, don't worry, Grandmom, you're going to be around forever.' Truth is, I can't wait until he gets around to writing it."

"Do you think he ever will?"

"He will." She turned her back on him. "Someday."

"He needs your help to pursue his dream."

"I can't leave him. I promised I would be there for him."

"And he promised you something he has not put any effort into fulfilling."

"That's why he needs me there."

"That's why he needs you here. You know you will never see him realize his goal so long as you are there. But you can help him."

She spun around, tears welling in her eyes. "How can I do that here?"

"By letting go. You will help him realize that he must put actions into his plants less they die and it is too late."

Ellie's mind began to fill with answers to questions she didn't know she had. "You're right. I know it now. I've always known it. But he'll be heartbroken."

"They all will. But they will continue their lives in the course in which you saw them start."

"And he will finally fulfill his promise." The tears stopped and all the traces of pain she remembered faded. "I understand now. I am content with the way my life was. I am ready now. I am ready to die and come with you."

The man handed Ellie the basket she just now noticed he had been holding during their conversation. And now they both walked along, hand in hand, in the field of strawberries and jellybeans.